i never said i lost control

forget everything i ever said before
i don't mean anything i say anymore.
it's just a fact of life--
when your head goes under
i am in passive mode.
you fast forwarded the good parts
now we're in the staring scene
awkwardly stammering what i actually mean
sift through the sand just to find my empty hands
you completely make me incomplete.
inadequacy at its finest.
simply put, i'm a wreck
and never having you is my worst mess
disarray.
when my phone is my only lifeline i'm hanging by a thread
it wouldn't make a difference if i hung my feelings on the fence
i cannot quit you.
once there was a time where everything made sense.
wait, scratch that.
i'm so unsure of myself
and you aren't helping
can you help it?
i don't think so.
you can't force what's not there
but fyi it's killing me.
it'd be better if you forgot my name and never wanted to see me again.
because i would have some closure.