lalalament

so we're love sick and plugging the hole with a party
i'm in love with whatever it is i started
distraught is a tire with a slow leak
we are at our most poignant when we say nothing at all
the way the tv screen lights your face
i'm not ever gonna put the pieces together on purpose
i wanna freeze the way i felt
you mean so much to me
lakes lap the shores in my head
makes me want to be at home in my skin
i just wanna be like you
but not at all
i don't ever want the pieces to fit.

"you can bow and pretend you don't know you're a legend..."

it's all a different world today.
and i made inventions of pure spite
i'd love to say i am the embodiment of the midwest innocence
"summer love on a gurney with a squeaky wheel"
i've overdosed on myself before
in a foreign place but it always seems so similar.
i've crunched the numbers and i still can't figure myself out
fascinated with someone i don't know anymore.
i'm in love with my own sins, too.

is it weird that the blues can make you happy sometimes?

no pressure, no forcing what's not there.
when i was young(and maybe i still am), i couldn't make decisons
and when i was short(oh i'm positive i still am), i couldn't see what it was like being happy over everyone's heads.
i have moved on but i still miss you.
does it make sense?
am i pathetic?
i'm afraid to know if you knew. you've probably never given me second thought.
still i'm rooted to this spot in my heart
the weeds have grown over where we stood.
remember that one time back in 2005?
you probably don't
i am a ghost
a poltergeist.
a shadow on your wall
tell me where i want to be. i have no idea anymore
you know that radio rock song they play over and over that gets stale around the corners?
it's like the story of my life in powerchord form.
but d'you still listen sometimes?
guilty pleasure anymore?
if you've ever read the lyrics
like, really read them
you'd put the needle to your head and hear me with you.
at least i cross my stars and count my change and hope to God that's what that record plays
it's the sweetest song ever made.
i am a slow brewed boy
not ready til the time is perfectly right
i can't seem to find my own time.
where is the charm that i used to have?
i never noticed it but you saw something in me.
i hope i didn't lose it in these clothes that i wear.
chisel me out of concrete in set myself to sleep
i am a song telling you to do your best played in reverse
i loved you til the day they put me in a hearse
oh shine, sun, shine
we'll all need a little light in a short time.
please listen to me:
i know you'll neve read this
but understand this.
i don't know what it is about you that keeps you in my mind locked and chained and the key went missing
but i cannot stand the fact that i was put to dry
and i want my time of day
and maybe sometimes down the road
it will be "i've always wanted us to be this way"
and when i was naive(sometimes i know a little bit) i used to think i could be with you
and when i was just a little insecure(and now i'm an open door with no knob and no lock) i couldn't imagine this ever working in a million years.
i hope someone can do something to me
fix me.

oh my own ambiance
we lost whatever it was we had.
i'd hum myself a song if i knew it would help
a lot of good i've done for anyone else.
we are, we are, we are whatever it is we think we are

stay where i can see you

if you ever drained the ocean
and saw what was on the bottom
you'd look like this too.
i've heard of a lot failures in my years
i guess everything happens for a reason.
if i finally hit my wall how do i bounce back?
i am disintegration in slow motion
we are the only light i ever see
a rags to riches to rags story
we all weep for the downfall
but no one ever notices the kids stuck on bottom
my tank is on empty
i want to love you and you have no idea.
i want to fuck you but my better mind battles me
i want you talk to me because i can't scrounge up my guts.

why do we always sing the saddest songs at the end?