blue carpet baby

can i step up to the mic for just a minute?
i just wanted to say
you never felt like i did today

we never get what we want
i'm here to bring that down someday
don't worry your head, i'm trying to take your pain away
and you never felt like i did today

"get a load of this guy" they would always say
but they've never felt like i do today
i must have been a miracle for someone
God put me here to shine through
all i know is
right now
you've never felt quite like i do

it's interesting to see all the people here for me
o, such a glorious day
i bet they feel like i do today.

"get a load of this guy!"

oh, hello glory

always alone in a crowded room
this isn't something new
"doc there's a hole where something was"
i'm only toxic to myself anyway

never forget, i forgot
i'm always in between
rearrange.
i wished so hard i was blue
something was always missing
put a lot of hot air to love's ice cube
nominate your latest dream
as life's greatest tragedy
you gotta remember who you are
and by God, i'm always at a new low
feeling it all out
felt like a overflowing trash can

why 'aint it me?
dodge the question
you can begin the debate of who i am
because i have just the left the room
oh, what a world of make believe
took a shot at life
well hell, at least i tried
living is just a bet on your own life
remember that kid.

turn the lights back on:
hand check
now please resume.

gearheaded

i've got guns, baby
stockpiled ammunition of love
arms dealer to the elite
can't stop what you can't compete with
my only explanation is "i'm sorry, try again"
tug of warfare in my head
can't buy happiness without interest
i cross referenced everything i have versus i had
one day i'll be better off
this is just the beginning i fear
she said "i just don't know you anymore"
i suppose this suffices.
truth is a rubix cube away
some get it and some don't
fill my head with hot air and hold my breath
hey, what else do i have left?

"i got a little bit of blow, we could both get off."

pipe dreams with teflon seals of love

one off the deep end
waded in the moon pool just to come out a wolf again
i'm stretched
beyond shaking a crystal ball and wishing so hard
that i almost didn't wake back up
it's lunacy, you see
coming into your own skin
speculate
inspect me
am i all wrong for trying work it all through?
giving up on letting myself down
i don't know when the last time it was since i've figured myself out
beyond the silliness of the situation
there lies the monsters underneath your feet
under your bed wasn't prominent enough anymore
they wanna know what you're up to
"tell me baby, how have you been?"
living rigor mortis riding in pop (cult)ure's hearse
i loved it all first
and everything you do

so let me see your moves.


i'm not going to sleep.


but i'll be quiet.

reboot. rest. repeat.

gridlocked
and i'm starting just to make sense to everyone
but mostly to myself

jump-start
the rest of my sentence
and by the time this makes sense
you'll already be irrelevant

i could cut you down
and i swear that no one will know you exist
i could cut you down
and that's all you'll ever know

i'm not sorry
and what if i never was?
it was the call of the wild in my head
they always told me i'm faded out on love and
i'm not sorry
so what if i never was?


lock jaw
my head in just in detox
was born and ready
was born and ready for no one

and i thought
that maybe this would make sense
i am just in defense
and that's all you need to know

i could cut you down
give the word, and i swear that i'll just hit reset
i cut could cut you down
maybe you'll learn your lesson
but. who. knows?


i'm not sorry
and what if i never was?
it was the call of the wild in my head
they always told me i'm faded out on love and
i'm not sorry
so what if i never was?
it's the call of the wild in my head
they always told me "you can sleep when you're dead"
you're dead

i hope you're wrong
one day baby
so, i was wrong
what's it to you?

i'm not sorry
and what if i never was?
it was the call of the wild in my head
they always told me i'm faded out on love and
i'm not sorry
so what if i never was?
it's the call of the wild in my head
they always told me "you can sleep when you're dead"
so i'm dead.

living through y(our)selves.

atop the throne sits mr sandman himself
and miss pretentious princess
can it, put a fucking lid on it
and everything will be alright baby
and even though melancholy is my best friend;
and pessimism is my commander in chief
i'm learning how to lean on me and no one else
sandbox dreams are so unlimited
taint the real world with a rose shade
conglomeration of narcissism pressed between my sheets
and i'm the only one sleeping in my bed tonight
just like every night
alonely.

only get lonely when you read the charts.

i could care fucking less.
i'm steadily losing interest in your existence.
crime rate in my head has gone way up
what do i mean to anyone anymore?
running towards the light but fell and gloriously at that
i'm gonna have to fix this
don't you ever lie to me again.
i'd like to say this is your last warning
but when did what i say mean anything to you anyway
pulling the strings on a puppet show
i cannot believe you.
or you.


so she returned to her cigarettes, like she always did. pouring her feelings into a martini, and downing them back again. what she did was incomparable to her self esteem. rocks(tars) filled her head and put her to bed at night. she's gonna leave that town one day, she said. she just doesn't know when and how. train tickets cost her pocket lining and leaving her ghost cost her her soul. she woke up next to stranger, and she was even alone. toying with emotions wasn't hard, and it was similar to the sunshine she injected whenever she could scrape up the money. benzedrine dreams. i loved the way she thought she could take it all on. you aren't any better than i am. don't let the empty pillow beside me fool you. i am worlds ahead of you. get me back to wherever i felt better. you know me. i should have said i was an outcast. get me back to wherever i never met her. what's it matter to you, you reaped all my benefits anyway. that tv lit the room just right. she knew what she was doing that night. i just hope she can forgive herself one day.